Featured

HUMP DAY REMINDER 🐫

This is an important and much needed reminder. There are so many of us that work so hard to make the world a better place and bring joy to others. Those same people are often the hardest on themselves. Check your inner conversation. Is it motivating? Recently, I noticed that my inner conversation started to lean a little more to the negative than I would care for. I mentioned to Margie, “I need to work on being more positive.” She gave me a look that showed her shock with my statement. I should have been a little more specific. My outer conversation was still very positive. However, my inner conversation was not. Allow me to give you an example. Winter is always difficult for me. The cold, the lack of life, it all has me feeling down. I decided to add a way to help with this. I decided to appreciate the effort and beauty behind the decorations people put up for the holidays.

On the outside I did pretty good. Whether I was with others, or by myself. I would remark, “Wow! That one looks nice.” or “That must have taken a long time.” I did feel better. That was until my inner voice started talking. I am not sure who that person is, but he didn’t have many nice things to say. I heard the voice in my head say, “That one is sloppy.” and “Why did they even bother to put up decorations if they were not going to take their time?” Here I was trying to find beauty and the holiday spirit and my inner dialogue turned into a holiday decoration critic. Then, I started getting down on myself for being negative.

We must remember that we are human. We must be forgiving and compassionate with ourselves. Especially during this busy season. As a solution to combat my newly negative self-talk, I have begun to listen to positive affirmations on the way to work in the morning. It places positive thoughts in my head before my head can come up with negative ones. Remember to be kind to ourselves the rest of the week. In what ways are you kind to yourself?

THE GOAL IS NOT TO HEAL THE WORLD

It may shock you to read the title of this post. Normally, we are all about healing the world. I feel this post provides one of the best ways in which people can heal the world. That is by healing themselves. We have all heard the saying that only hurt people hurt people. There is a great amount of truth to that. Think about when you are having a great day. Even if you experience some trouble, it does not seem to bother you that much. Now, imagine that in a broader context. How much less would people and life bother you if your soul was free from hurt?

I recognize that this may sound flippant. In no way am I inferring that healing yourself is easy. Merely, we are saying that to embark on a journey of self-healing is one of the most powerful actions you can take to heal the world. Another way is to help, or at least support others who are on their own journey of healing. Sharing tools and strategies you learn that have helped you heal is another great step. When we all heal the hate and hurt in our hearts, the world will begin to heal. I think it is one of the greatest things we can do for not only ourselves and those we care about, but for the world at large. Take the time, heal yourself.

HOW TO KNOW WHAT PEOPLE THINK

Wouldn’t it be great to know what people think? There are books and courses on just that. If you ask Google how to tell what people think, the answer is that you should combine active communication with behavior patterns. Here is the tricky bit. Sometimes those things not only do not agree, but may be contrary to each other! What then? I say you do look at both communication and behavior, but put the weight on the latter. How often do you hear people say they believe one thing, but then behave in the complete opposite? We are not our words, we are our actions. A person can tell you who they want to be, but if there actions are the opposite, then they are the opposite.

How about you? What would someone deduce you were thinking if they paid attention to your behavior? How about if they only listened to your words? Do your words and behavior match? That is a sign of great character, when your words and actions match. If you wish to know someone’s thoughts, watch their behavior.

JUST DO NOT LOOK!

This photo comes with a little tongue in cheek. With the high prices today, many of us are feeling the pinch. As someone who has a 35 minute commute to their day job, as well as consumes many cups of coffee while writing, both of these affect me. It would be prudent to take actions that can help offset the increase in price. Try to eliminate unnecessary trips. Be more logistically wise. Perhaps enjoy a few more cups of coffee at home and a few less out. Make sure to make the most when you do go out for coffee. Maybe switch it up and have a cup of tea now and again.

What I do get out of this picture is two things. First, do not fixate on the problem. Yes, both of these have reached the level of insane in the price category. The other thing is not to just complain about them. Seldom has complaining done anything to improve a situation. If you must complain, do so with your vote. Turn complaint into action. Focus on a solution, such as the ones we mentioned above.

The other point is not to give up what you like entirely. Yes, this may be said as a joke in this photo, but I like the idea behind it. Even if you have to scale it back a little, still let yourself enjoy these small pleasures of life. They give it flavor and joy.

IT MIGHT BE THE WRONG PERSON

This photo was gifted to me from a coworker. What a powerful message. There are many times in life that we are doing our best to comfort, inspire or assist a friend, lover or coworker. Ocassionally, the situation does not seem to change, or it may even get worse. This can have us feeling like a failure or that we let down the other party. Was our advice wrong? Did we say or do the wrong thing? Are we an imposter when it comes to our best intentions. Most of the time it is none of these.

Looking at the photo above, it is pretty easy to see what is going on. During personal interactions, it is not that easy. We must keep this image in mind. We can seem to give our all and have no impact at all. It can be frustrating, deflating or even depressing. If, however, the person is not ready to receive what we have to offer, it can be completely worthless. If you have tried different delivery methods. If you have engaged on personal reflection and still cannot find what you are doing incorrectly, it might not be you. Even the best efforts fail with the wrong person. I equate it to spreading seeds on concrete. Even if you have the most fertile seeds, they will not grow on concrete. You might find fertile soil in which they can take root and grow. It is the same with personal interaction.

WHICH WAY DO YOU TURN?

The above photos were taken at the exact same time, from the exact same location. If you looked to the west, the sky was black and the moon was full. If you turned 180°, in the east, the sun was visible just peaking over the horizon. Complete night and complete daytime.

It had me thinking of how similar this is to life. At the very same moment, our life can feel like complete darkness or it can feel like hope is just coming over the horizon. It can feel this way depending on which way we direct our focus. When we look at everything we lack, everything that is wrong, our life can seem bleak, dark and hopeless. Turn our  mind 180° and focus on all we have to be grateful for, hope seems to rise just like a sunrise. Same life, all that changed was our focus.

YOU JUST NEVER KNOW

We have covered this subject before, but it is worth repeating. Everyone you meet is facing some battles. Could be physical health. It could be mental health. My they are dealing with heartache? We just never know. Many people are great at hiding their pain. Especially those who have been carrying their pain with them awhile.

Think of the trials and tribulations you carry on a regular basis. It could be personal, or maybe even worried about someone you love. So the next time someone cuts you off in traffic or maybe runs into you with their shopping cart, know that they could be lost in anguish we know nothing about. Have compassion. Give the grace you would like someone to give to you.

EVEN MONKEYS FALL FROM TREES

As some of you may know, I am currently working on a book that chronicles my 23 years of bartending. I am not sure what will be next. Maybe a book on my years in the post office. If so, the following story may very well be included in that volume. It is also a good lesson for all of us to remember. Not only for work, but for life in general.

One of my jobs working for the great United States Postal Service was to travel to different offices and train the staff on how to work with the public. It was one of my favorite jobs that I have held there. Some people were a little difficult to work with. Some were a little easier. There were an exceptional few that required very little training at all. They just had the gift of connecting with the public. One such lady I trained that fit into the category was Young Kim. She was a Korean woman who smiled a lot and was a natural when it came to the job. There was little I had to tell her. That left my coworker Dave and I plenty of time to explore which kind of coffee we enjoyed best while working.

Towards the end of her training, Young made a mistake you would expect someone to make on their first day. Before I could mention anything or correct her, she spun around and said to me, “Do not say anything! Even monkey fall from tree!” Immediately I got. It was that she did not know what to do, she just made an honest mistake. She did not let it slow her down and went on to have an amazing career making everyone she dealt with very happy. We should all be that way. Not letting our mistakes get us down. Even experts mess up. It happens. We are human.

Next time you make a mistake. Take corrective action, if possible. Do not be hard on yourself. Just remind yourself, “Even monkeys fall from trees.”

BEWARE OF B.U.M.S, DO NOT BE A BUM

Back in the 1930’s and 1940’s people used to refer to people they did not like as a ‘bum’. It was also a name for someone who did not bring much to the situation. In much the same vein, I like the acronym above. Using bum to stand for ‘broke, undermining manipulators’ is a good way to remind us to watch out for these people coming into our life. Broke can be many things. People can be down on their luck through no fault of their own. That is not the broke we are talking about. We are talking about people with no fiscal sense. People who constantly spend more than they earn. Undermining people? They are not only people who gossip and work against you behind your back, but people who talk down about your goals, your ambitions and your efforts to better yourself. Manipulators are pretty self-explanitory.

When you focus on surrounding yourself with good people, keeping this acronym in mind will help. You do not want a bunch of bums in your life and you certainly do not want to be a bum in anyone else’s life.

AN EYE FOR AN EYE

Good day my friends at Secret2anamazinglife!! Thank you for part of this community in this crazy world. To me it seems there is more conflict and division than there has been in quite some times. Whether that is conflict between nations or division that can turn into hate between political parties. How can we go about solving all of this? It is quite a tall order, but I optimistically believe it can be done. The tricky part is that it must start with a very difficult step.

Most of us have heard the saying, “An eye for an eye.” That comes from the bible, but actually from a Babylonian code of conduct. It means that whatever you do to me, I am going to do for you. That is pretty much how the mafia ran operations. It is how things are done in the world of gangs and drug dealers. If you were to take a step back and think of what all of those situations have in common, you may find a rather unsurprising common denominator. It is the same one that keeps regional and global conflicts raging as well as people at each other’s throats over politics. Which, might I say, is rather foolish. It is never ending violence and vengeance.

Here is the tricky part. When someone does something bad to you, whether that is perceived or real, you feel the need to balance the scales. Sometimes are justified at that. Let me ask you a question. When does it end? Some of the conflicts now raging in the world have the root of their hatred going back thousands of years. It will take someone to stop the need to get back at the other party. Here is the tricky part. It often has people looking and feeling weak. They did something to me and I ‘let them get away with it’. If you get back at them, then they have to get back at you. This will make it necessary for you to get back at them…you see where this ends up.

That is why the quote above is so powerful. An eye for an eye does make the whole world blind. It must stop! Let us be an example in our personal world. Let us stop the need for revenge.

THE PURPOSE OF ART

Let me begin this post by admitting I am no art master. I enjoy a good painting or play. I can appreciate the talent it takes to pull of a performance in an opera or sculpt something. As for myself, I write books with questionable grammar and draw a mean stick figure. I do, however, understand how vital art is to the human spirit. Yes, I did use the word ‘vital’. How many times in discussions of budgets how art is something ‘extra’. It is not. Without some form of art, the world becomes a collection of gray moments. We turn into robots that just wake up, pay bills and die. Life ceases to have any sort of enjoyment.

Does this sound overly dramatic to you? Ask yourself what do you do for entertainment? You could be a painter. You could enjoy doodling. You could enjoy creating floral arrangements or decorating a cake. If you are the woman I am about to marry, you could enjoy all of them. Maybe you like to run? Do you just like to sit home and watch television? Do you enjoy meeting friends for coffee? There is an artform to just about everything. If you take art out of our world, the human spirit slowly begins to die. When you have people who have a spirit full of dust then things like family, friends and life itself lose their meaning. Is art vital? Imagine living your life without creating, or enjoying the benefits of any form of art. Then tell me that art is not vital.