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HUMP DAY REMINDER 🐫

This is an important and much needed reminder. There are so many of us that work so hard to make the world a better place and bring joy to others. Those same people are often the hardest on themselves. Check your inner conversation. Is it motivating? Recently, I noticed that my inner conversation started to lean a little more to the negative than I would care for. I mentioned to Margie, “I need to work on being more positive.” She gave me a look that showed her shock with my statement. I should have been a little more specific. My outer conversation was still very positive. However, my inner conversation was not. Allow me to give you an example. Winter is always difficult for me. The cold, the lack of life, it all has me feeling down. I decided to add a way to help with this. I decided to appreciate the effort and beauty behind the decorations people put up for the holidays.

On the outside I did pretty good. Whether I was with others, or by myself. I would remark, “Wow! That one looks nice.” or “That must have taken a long time.” I did feel better. That was until my inner voice started talking. I am not sure who that person is, but he didn’t have many nice things to say. I heard the voice in my head say, “That one is sloppy.” and “Why did they even bother to put up decorations if they were not going to take their time?” Here I was trying to find beauty and the holiday spirit and my inner dialogue turned into a holiday decoration critic. Then, I started getting down on myself for being negative.

We must remember that we are human. We must be forgiving and compassionate with ourselves. Especially during this busy season. As a solution to combat my newly negative self-talk, I have begun to listen to positive affirmations on the way to work in the morning. It places positive thoughts in my head before my head can come up with negative ones. Remember to be kind to ourselves the rest of the week. In what ways are you kind to yourself?

YOU MADE IT THROUGH!

This is more for my friends in the Northern hemisphere. For someone who is a fan of warm weather and sunshine, but lives in a state with 9 months of winter, this is a glimmer of hope. Although this graphic is about the weather, in many ways in mimics life in general. We have dark periods in our life. Much like the weather, we have little or no control over outside circumstances. What we can do is find ways to change our mindset and find ways in which to find as much light in the darkness as we can. Sometimes that consists in just knowing that the darkness does not last forever.

Another way in which this is like life is that the seasons are cyclical. Every year there is a dark period followed by a period of rebirth and growth. Life is much the same. We have periods of darkness. There are times when nothing seems to be going right. People pass away, jobs are lost and health is compromised. After which, we find a period of light. We find a job that we enjoy more, or perhaps pays better. We gain our health and maybe make some new friends. Knowing that there are cycles to this crazy adventure we call life can help us better appreciate and make it through some of the darker times.

As of right now, those of us in the north have made it through some of the darkest days. There will be some challenges ahead to be sure. The days will continue to grow longer and eventually the temperatures will rise as well. Knowing this helps us make it through the snow and frigid weather. Just like knowing there will be a brighter time in our life can help us make it through the darker times. We have done it before and we will do it again!

NOT AN EXPENSE, AN INVESTMENT.

With seemingly everything becoming more expensive these days, everyone is looking for ways to save a little here and there. Sadly, one of the areas people cut off first is investing in their lives. One great way to improve your life is to change this mindset. View everything as weather it is an expense or an investment. A gym membership can be a great investment. If you go consistently, it will save you on sick time, medicine and stress. It will also add energy and the ability to do more. If, however, you are not going to use it, than it will be nothing more than an expense.

While making these discernments, be careful not to justify expenses as investments. What I mean is that if you are going to buy a new cell phone, even though your current one is working just fine, you could say that it will allow you to work more efficiently from more locations. While that could be true, if you are only could to use it to watch random reels on social media, be honest with yourself. In that case it is an expense. If you buy a great book on how to make better use of your time, but only use it as a paper weight, than it goes from investment to an expense.

As we are all looking to spend wiser and save more, make sure you are doing so wisely. Make sure to continue to invest in yourself. Remember the better you take care of yourself, the more you will be able to do for your friends and family. The best investment you can make is the one you make in yourself.

WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE

With New Year’s resolutions starting to fall off, this post comes at just the right time. No matter how lofty our goals, we will not look like anything like them if our habits and effort do not match them. Think of the person who has the goal of getting in shape every New Year. If they do not match that with consistent effort and hard work, they will pretty much look the same as last year. If your goal is to be in a better place financially, but you have a habit of buying every new phone as soon as it hits the market, you will look more like the person chasing instant gratification than someone concerned about their fiscal well-being.

That is why in my upcoming fourth book we focus on setting up rituals to form a daily structure. This will go a lot further to success than even setting goals. I recommend you do both, but setting up a daily habit you engage in will be key. Even starting with something small will gain you momentum. Once it becomes a mindless part of your daily routine, you will be well on your way to success. At first, understand new habits will be difficult. The brain does not like to change its way of operating. Stick with it as Earl Nightingale used to say. Once your mind adapts to this new habit, you will be on your way to success.

There are ways to help put this on autopilot. Let us say your goal is to start the day with a better attitude and outlook. Placing inspirational quotes on the bathroom mirror, or empowering affirmations to repeat to yourself, would be a good idea. I have a daily inspirational calendar by my coffee maker. I love starting the day with both. It takes me a while to remember to read each page. Especially at 4am when I wake up. Once in the habit though, it is something I now look forward to! How about you? Can you think of some simple habit you can do daily to gain momentum and set yourself up for success?

IF YOU WANT IT, GIVE IT AWAY

This may seem counterintuitive, but it really makes sense if you stop and think about it. Take them one at a time. Love is a great example. Love is not always of the romantic type. Although it works the same for both. Love is compassion, understanding and respect. At least it should be. When you love someone, that is show them compassion, understanding and respect, the more likely they are to do it to you. The more that you ‘give it away’ to others, the more people are likely to give it back to you. Will there be some exceptions? Of course. If you wish to have a life filled with more love and understanding, the best way to accomplish this is by giving it away.

Abundance is a little harder to wrap your head around. First thing to note is that abundance is not always money. If you have an abundance of anything, the best thing you can do is share it with those less fortunate. This can be your time, a shoulder to cry on or an ear to sit and listen. The more you do these for others, the more they are likely to reciprocate. Even when it comes to money this is so. Think of someone who picks up the tab when you go out to eat. Would you not want to do the same for them the next time?

The point is that in life if you do something for others, they are more likely to do it for you. Therefore, if you want more of something in your life, it only makes sense to put as much of it as you can into the world. The more you do it, and the more people you do it to, the more it will come back to you. Do not take my word for it. This coming week try putting as much genuine kindness out into the world. If you are already kind, double your efforts. Do this for a week straight and see what happens the following week.

A LITTLE PEACE

Sharing a little peace today. The world has enough craziness, so we will focus on peace, love and happiness today. The philosophy will return tomorrow.

HOW TO BE GRATEFUL FOR EVERYONE

On the journey to self-improvement there are many tricky obstacles. One of the toughest is that we share the planet with people who have no intent, or desire to improve themselves. There are those who feel the need to treat others poorly. I have seem a man berate a coffee shop employee because he coffee was 5 degrees too hot. Not only was it almost impossible to tell that exactly, he could have waited a few seconds and it would have cooled down. That is enough to make someone watching that behavior upset. A more constructive approach is to let it remind us of how important our kindness and compassion to retail employees is and how much it is appreciated.

There are those who have no regard or care for their health. This is especially hard to watch if it is someone we care about. If these people persist in neglecting their health and lifestyle, it will remind us how impactful those two things have in our own life.

To me, one of the most frustrating is watching those individuals who make it their life mission to live in a world of self-created drama and terrible decisions. Lack of accountability and any actions towards improving their life can drive you crazy to watch, and certainly to listen to. What every episode can remind us of is how important working on ourselves and our life is.

All of these people can be a challenge, but they can also be a great reminder. We should be grateful when the universe shows us how important kindness, compassion and self-improvement are. These fine folks can be just what we need in our life to motivate us to take the next leap in our own development. Be grateful for the lesson they bring.

THE COST OF YOUR DISTRACTIONS

Have you ever thought of the cost of your distractions? What has that harmless scrolling really cost you? What started as a quick ‘5 minute scroll’ ended up having you hooked for hours. How about binging television shows? You think you will watch just one episode and suddenly your day is over. I hear lots of people justifying this behavior as “I just need to relax.” or “Well I have earned it.” Do not get me wrong, I am not one of those hustle until you die kind of people. Still, we must asking what we could have been doing during that time we were giving to our distractions.

Is it more fun to watch Netflix than clean the house? Undoubtedly. When you put off obligations for pleasures, you still have the stress of undone obligations. It is not just household chores that miss getting done. You could be taking actions that would increase the quality of your health, or your career, or your relationship? That one hour you spent watching videos of cats that look like pop tarts could have been invested in turning your hobby into a business that could add a stream of income. Thinking of ideas to increase the love of you and your partner could have a much greater impact on your life than finding out what the Kardashians are doing.

Do not think wasting one hour a day is such a big deal? If you only waste one hour a day, only on the weekdays, that comes out to 260 hours a week. That is a full 6 and a half 40 hour working weeks you could have invested in bettering your life. Instead of focusing on the pleasure of these mindless distractions, ask yourself what they are costing you. Think of the productive things you could have done with that time.

ADVICE FROM A LAMA

Please note this advice comes from the Buddhist holy man and not the hoofed animal of the Andes. That is ‘llama’. Just so there is no confusion. Here we have a quick reminder in the middle of the week that we have the power to make ourselves happy or unhappy. You may find yourself thinking, “But Neil, I have no way of controlling what is going on in the world.” You would be right, but you have 100% control over how you react to it? Are there a lot of crazy things going on in all of our lives and the world around us? Of course there are. Can we acknowledge those and still be grateful for our health, amazing family and friends? Yes. Yes we can.

The second half of this quote makes another good point. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not here yet. Did yesterday suck? It could have. Will tomorrow be a dumpster fire? It might. All we have control over is our actions today. There is a whirlwind of craziness going on in my life as we speak. Still, I am here in a coffee shop writing to people around the globe. That makes me happy. It sure beats sitting on the couch fretting over what may happen tomorrow or all of the stupid mistakes I have made in the past.

Today may you realize that you have the power to decide what way your emotions will go. Do not give power to outside circumstances or events. Whatever you do, stay away from giving power to those negative thoughts between your own two ears. Be present. Be grateful. Life will return to you a inner peace and joy you deserve.

YOUR WORLD CAN BE BETTER!

In today’s crazy world we are always searching for ways in which we can make our life better. This quote contributed to Confucius is one way. As humans, we are rather predisposed to focus on what needs to be ‘fixed’ in both our lives and the world at large. These days that list has grown rather long. Focusing on these things, especially those we have no control over, can leave us feeling overwhelmed at best and downright depressed at worst.

It is important to look at what needs to be fixed. Especially in our own lives. To be constantly fixated on these events will drain our energy and deplete us emotionally. We need to be motivated and healed by noticing all of the good that surrounds us every day. When we focus on what is good, we notice more of what is good. We begin to see that there is reason to have faith in both the world and the human race. This is important to make sure that we do not let the negative element to win control of our mind and the world at large.

Yes, notice what has to be fixed. Then be thankful and recognize that you do not have to fix everything. Stop to reflect on the beauty and kindness that still exists in this world. Do yourself a favor and remember to keep your mind on the good, even while trying to address the things that are troubling you.

BEING GREAT

Today in the United States we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. day. It is only fitting that we start off with a quote from the man himself. My favorite thing about this quote is that it is a simple, yet effective formula for success. Many people view becoming successful in terms of grand events. Winning the lottery, getting that promotion, losing all the weight they want or whatever they view to be successful. Being great, or successful, is not that complicated.

Take a look at the examples above. Winning the lottery? How about saving or investing the money we would have spent foolishly? Getting that promotion? While we are working to make that happen, we should be doing the best we can at the job we currently have. Putting in a hard days work, whether we are acknowledged for it or not, is being great. How about losing weight? That seems to be on a lot of people’s minds now. It is admirable to be healthy, but understand that even the small things we do will make us great. Saying ‘no’ to the doughnuts in the breakroom is great. Going for a walk after dinner when all we want to do is lay down, that is great.

Doing the ‘small’ things greatly is what prepares us for when the big things arise. If we work to keep our studio apartment in order, guess what will happen when we move into that mansion? If we keep working on passing on the doughnuts, or maybe adding healthy meals to our plate, eventually we will start losing that weight. We are a success long before we reach our goal weight. We are great every time we do not give into temptation. We should celebrate every small step on the way to greatness and make sure we do each one to the best of our ability.